Transitioning from "Empty Nest" Into a Newfound Purpose and Meaning

Are you standing at the threshold of a major life transition and are uncertain of what’s next?

I’m here to remind you that you are not alone and there is hope and countless possibilities available to you on the other side of your feelings of fear, disorientation, and uncertainty.

Around the time my youngest entered high school and my middle daughter was getting her dress for her Junior Prom, I had a moment of realization that one day my whole life would not eternally revolve around my girls, and their life would not be focused on me and what I could provide for them. One day, in the very near future they would be off leading their own lives, as nature intended. I knew if I didn't start prioritizing my well-being and connecting with what was important to me outside of my most primary relationships, I would be standing there with a big gaping hole in my heart and my life as one by one, they left. I knew it was important to listen to my inner voice and wisdom, because when we don't listen, we can create all sorts of imbalances in our bodies and minds. In that moment I thought, what inspires me, when is the next step I can take to grow, while remaining available to my most important relationships? I knew I had to return to school and complete what I had started. I had been a massage therapist and physical therapist assistant for years, but knew I wanted to cultivate more of my potential and gain more clarity about my life purpose. I decided to return to school and receive my Masters in Health and Wellness Coaching and Nutrition. I also knew I had to live on the west coast at some point and have that experience, as my soul had been called there for years, and each time my focus was turned to other's wants and needs. I feel like perimenopause and midlife are pivotal points for our growth, both emotionally and spiritually, and are often activated by hormonal changes and "empty nest". I recently read that when we come into this life, our bowl is empty. We are just essence. We begin to add life experiences to our bowl and it begins to fill with many things. When we hit midlife, it is a time of sorting through this bowl and emptying out what no longer resonates with our original essence. It is really releasing all that does not truly support our soul’ s purpose. This can be a very painful and disorienting process at times. It can also be very liberating, empowering, and clarifying. If we have children, when they leave the nest, we are left empty of everything but ourselves. When we haven't been connected with who we are outside of this major, often all consuming identity/ role, it can come as a shock, followed by a time of mourning, leading to a reframing of what gives us and our lives value, meaning, and purpose. Although nothing replaces these relationships, this space allows us room to reflect on our relationship with ourselves and how becoming a mother has transformed us, and given us the skills to step into our greater life purpose, whatever that may be. I discovered that I wanted to extend my mothering experience to nurture the mother, so- to- speak; to serve women through all phases of motherhood on all levels, emotionally, physically, nutritionally, and spiritually. I once read a quote that said something along the lines of, “grief is love with nowhere to go”. I channeled the love for my girls into my current passion, working with women. I moved to the west coast, trained with amazing healers, saturated myself in my work with pregnant and postpartum women, conducted interviews for my book, hiked endless, magical trails, met so many amazing humans, and I grew on every level. I felt like I finally had the space and permission to totally fill my cup. It took time to reorient my attention from my daily questions, “what can I plan today that will make someone else happy? What does this one need?” to the question,” what do I want or need today and how can I give that to myself? Wow!! I had to retrain myself to think this way. For a while it felt like no other purpose could ever feel as meaningful, as being a mother. That is still true for me, in many ways, but now I also exist, and have learned to include my own well-being into my life and that feels good. It feels good to give from a place of " I feel fulfilled and from this place I want to share my love and joy with others in a meaningful way." It is not a burden, it is an opportunity and a gift to be in relationships.

If you are going through “empty nest” or a mid-life transition, where are you in your process? Do you feel empty, lost, or grief stricken? What is your inspiration, curiosity, passion, and intention for this phase of your life? How will you honor this rite of passage? Who and what is your support going forward as you birth yourself into a whole new creation? Please share as we want to hear how you are navigating this very sacred time in the recreation of your lives.